Wedding Heaven

L seems to think that planning a wedding together is supposed to be an amazing, joyous experience, and is upset with me that I am not as enthused. Or to put it another way, that each time we discuss her plans for spending thousands on this and that, I am raising an eyebrow at where her original 'affordable' and 'low cost' wedding plans have gone. The amount she is proposing for a photographer and band are a great example.

I want to make sure that it is a wonderful day, so let me say it's not that I don't want to get married or don't care. But I really do not understand where this hideously commercialised industry has sprouted from in the last 50 years. It seems to have evolved specifically to fleece couples of as much money as possible, while delivering nothing more to make the day any more memorable or special than it was before all this was a social expectation. So what if the photo's are airbrushed with fake lighting and remove the zit which appeared on the morning of the wedding?

Perhaps it is because I am inherently one of those people who is careful with money. When I spend on something, I want to know it is good quality and will last so that I get value for money. I don't like frittering money away on something that lasts a single day and will pass in a blur.

I'll try to convince myself it's because I understand what money is all about - namely for getting us a family home, and eventually providing well for the next generation, not pissing it away because of social expectations. If truth be told, I would happily marry without all this pomp in a registry office and let my love show in other ways - not to mention the large diamond ring I got for her in last summer. That was actually part of our unofficial deal: the ring will last for the rest of her life, so I could justify spending on that, but it was in exchange for a lower key wedding. Of course, that agreement with L seems to have now completely gone out of the window - too much time watching the Wedding Channel methinks.

It's not helped by her father being a useless waste of space who has never provided for her, and so certainly won't be contributing a penny towards her wedding. In fact, I will be surprised if somebody doesn't end up paying to fly him out for the ceremony.

So anyway, this last week since L got back from seeing her family has been a mild stand off between her broaching the subject of confirming various details, and then me pointing out the huge cost and asking what other options we have available.

It's interesting from talking to my colleagues of both genders further on in life about all this. The men nod knowingly, and tell me that the same happened to them and that they felt powerless to resist. The women usually say that the costs are ridiculous, and several have admited they got carried away as well - probably with some context they can see now what a few thousand quid extra would do for their children. Anyway that's my minor rant over about weddings.

L is sulking with an extended lie-in this morning, because I am heading out all afternoon to see a football game with a former colleague from the bank. Sorry, they were corporate tickets so I couldn't say no darling... and anyway, he has has recently defected to a rival - always a good opportunity to find out the sorts of details that were going on in his area that couldn't be revealed at the time...