Client Relationship Manager (aka Private Banker)

"In the US they just call them Customer Relationship Managers, and that's what we should be doing here too."

That was the paradigm I was faced with last week while in a discussion with the Global Head of Dealing - one of the many with a grandiose title and gargantuan ego that orbit the mothership that is my new bank.

I didn't even have to explain to him the problems in doing away with the cachet of the title 'Private Banker' to a large swathe of the most overpaid and undeserving in the backwater of finance that is private banking. He knows but is busy pursuing his own aim of turning his band of belittled dealers into something more meaningful than some trade execution monkeys at the behest of the bankers.

While the prized 'client relationship' that Private Bankers use to justify their salaries may apply for a small minority of HNW's and UHNW's, the model where Granny calls her banker for advice and reassurance is changing as old money moves down the generations. The younger generations frequently would rather trade online than talk to a time wasting middle man - I more base that on the fact I wouldn't trust these clowns with my money or for financial advice so find it hard to believe anybody else would either.

I have been having a most amusing time since I arrived at the new place. Compared to where I was, the new bank is hugely inefficient, which is a major plus as looking good is effortless compared to my peers. I like my new boss - petulant, demanding, irritable and impatient he reminds me hugely of my previous one (it's nice to feel at home from day one).

Unfortunately none of the other new joiners have come across such a personality, so are struggling with him, hence he has already been awarded the moniker 'The Dark Lord' (DL for short) due to his overbearing and demanding personality. A classic empire builder, what they need to learn is that The Dark Lord's only concern is about delivering to make himself look good.

I am finding the work quite refreshing, traveling to Singapore, Geneva, the Isle of Man, Edinburgh, Boston and New York so far for lengthy, detailed discussions with bankers and dealers - I'm afraid the exact details I can't reveal but suffice to say the ultimate aim is to finally move this ancient fossil of a business model kicking and screaming into the 21st century. The political factions and vested interests attempting to block this process along the way make it all the more interesting, not least because most of the private bankers have already worked out that it removes a key excuse for them not performing. They might actually have to do some work beyond extended lunches in the brave new world.

Meantime fitting in CFA studying has proven a huge pain in the arse, and whether I will be ready in time for June remains an open question. I'll be giving it my best shot but if the worst comes to the worst I will be pragmatic and retake in December and as many times as necessary - the content is not remotely challenging, just combining so much with a full time job.

I might as well mention just what an outstanding investment General Growth Properties has turned out to be following a couple of buy-out offers and the potential for further upward offers before the court accepts a proposal in the coming months. Hopefully a few people who read earlier entries took a closer look and decided to buy in over the last 18mths to join the party.

Either way I am sitting on around £2m in unrealised profit right now, which ain't a bad gain and I'm sure will have the government licking its lips.

On the subject of government and the election, I am certainly not remotely concerned by the various higher tax proposals to squeeze the rich (I assume of which I am classified). There are so many ways around most of the measures that the real tragedy is that the pain will mostly be felt by the aspirant and hard-working - it will generate token revenue, and goes almost none of the way to reducing the huge national debt.

To the multitude of unproductive public sector workers - the wake up call is that the country will only get out of this hole through deep spending cuts. Of course that's unfair, after all this is all the fault of the banks and people like me - certainly nothing to do with government deregulation, grotesque overspending for a decade to balloon the public sector (much of it completely unnecessary), and certainly nothing to do with people borrowing too much.