Private Insolvency Management

Well I just got back from an amusing trip out to Zurich, where I gave a presentation to senior management in Private Wealth Management. I did a fine job of summoning faux enthusiasm as I ran through an unnecessarily lengthy presentation, explained how our absurd insolvency scheme could benefit them as well:

"And so, this scheme will enable you to provide your clients with full assurances that they will receive their money back, in the event of an insolvency at some point in the future," I pronounced confidently as I finished.

The PWM managers all looked keen, and agreed they would provide funding to have them added to my insolvency circus project, much to the delight of my Boss when I got back today. More funding equals more work for us - and a higher profile for him as he struggles to try and make MD.

As I packed up in the empty board room afterwards, a manager I used to work with came back in for a chat. He explained that the reason for this sudden interest from PWM is down to the exodus of clients in the last few months. As such, half of the room will be fearing for their own necks when this gets out, and have been looking desperately for anything that might give them an edge when trying to pick up more clients.

When I enquired why they had lost so many, he confessed that PWM have been so busy lying to them about portfolio performance for the last year, that when the bad news had to be finally reported at the year-end, it was the final straw for many.

"Look, the first casualty of a recession is honesty", he said seriously. "My problem with all this is that clients don't believe a word we tell them anymore, so I'm not sure this insolvency protection malarky is going to make any difference."

However bad I think my lot are, it was rather refreshing to get out to the most boring place to work in Europe and find out there is another group of bankers with even fewer morals.