Tuesday, January 27, 2009

"Oh My God, They Killed Kenny!"

As I mentioned in my first post, it amazes me how little financial common sense many people have - in particular my colleagues. After all, these are the supposed 'Masters of the Universe' (where exactly did that ridiculous phrase come from?), who are experts in the many financial products and options for investing our money. Yet it's amazing how many are really just Average Man On The Street when it comes to making those all-important decisions that determine whether you end up with some freedom in life.

On that note, let me be clear that I see money as nothing more than an enabler in life - specifically it gives you personal freedom to decide what you want to do and when. That's why the ultra rich who wander around the shops in Knightsbridge and New Bond Street look so happy and relaxed. You can spot them a mile off, with their designer everything, styled hair, moisturised skin, and most importantly no bags under their eyes from the constant strain of life in the rat race in which we all struggle. Instead they do as they please - it's when they show all the gratitude of Paris Hilton for their position in life that the resentment rightly comes in from the rest of us.

Unlike a lot of people, I have no like or dislike of money. I think those who do are usually scared by it, because it is either a constant problem to meet bills, or they don't know what to do with what they've got. But like all fears, it's facing up to it that helps, not sticking your head in the sand and pretending it isn't important. Money ultimately will decide whether I own that house in a good area in a couple of years time, and whether I can provide for the family that L and I plan to start one day. That's a quick insight into my reasoning, along with why I have no interest in pissing my money away on ego boosts like a flash car, phone or watch.

We all know the type who do that, like a friend of mine, Big H. He's enormously proud of his house, along with his flash company car and likes to be conspicuous with his wealth by showing off various electronic gadgets like his smart phone. In short, he's the kind of overstretched financial idiot of the worst kind: shallow, materialistic, he seems to actually define himself by what he buys. He also thinks he has been clever by racking up £9000 of credit card debt, which he has been flipping every 6mths between company intro deals.

A number of financial websites have advised people to do that in recent years, but as the country is about to find out - it is always a stupid idea to encourage spending beyond your means. Now those deals are drying up fast, so Big H finds himself with an uncertain future regarding his job, and no means to pay that back easily. Anyway back to my colleagues at the bank, as I heard an interesting story on Friday about an investment decision made by one who was an unfortunate lamb to the slaughter in the first big cull back in October.

Kenny's just one of those unfortunate types who was always one of the team comedy characters. We laughed AT him as much as with him, and he hasn't had the best run of luck in recent months. As you'll see though: calling most of it 'luck' is partly to excuse stupidity. Firstly he decided to take a holiday in the summer to Sardinia of all places, and despite the warnings from a colleague who knew the place well to not drive there, he hired a car - and promptly crashed it within 2hrs of arriving, and spent the remainder of his two week holiday in hospital recovering.


Kenny's a good chap, and was well liked around the bank to my knowledge. Unfortunately he was also not politically astute enough to ensure he massaged the ego of the most important person - the Boss. He made the mistake of complaining a little too vehemently about his bonus in December 2007 (that's the last time we expected bonuses). That seems to have been remembered, as he was first on the list our of the door. There's complaining by grumbling and looking like you expected more, and then complaining by making it personal or with veiled threats - and I heard he crossed that line.

Around that time was when all the fun with the banks was really kicking off of course: Lehman Brothers collapsed, and the vice tightening on Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley. Overshadowed but still high profile was Iceland, which quickly defaulted on all foreign debts, forcing the UK government to bail out UK savers. Guess who had over £100k stashed away in an Icesave account?

Although Kenny will eventually get that back, meantime he decided to 'invest' his generous redundancy package in a couple of other banks in December - namely RBS and Lloyds TSB. I can only assume his logic was that given they had fallen a lot up to now, it therefore meant now was the time to buy. I should probably point out that Kenny is no trader, but such simplistic reasoning also showed spectacular naivety to assume that more crap was not lurking under the surface at both of those banks. Particularly given that each has swallowed up a terribly run, overexposed competitor in ABN Amro and HBoS respectively. You only have to look at how Bank of America is now suffering from its forced purchase of Merrill Lynch for another example.

Everybody in the City knew both were as contaminated as Lehman Brothers.. or should I say anybody who spent some time doing some research into the matter, which is another key rule of investing.

Since Kenny decided to put in an unspecified amount into those banks, they have tanked an impressive 79% in value, which just goes to prove my point that you should never assume bankers are always competent with their money. Having said that, after the last 6 months I am likely preaching to the converted when it comes to assuming we're all incompetent, overpaid slime.


I must admit, a few of us at the bank couldn't help but laugh when we heard - it was just such a Kenny way to invest. In a post soon, I'll tell you what I have been doing with my own money in the last 6 months, and why I have been making a lot of money out of the downturn.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I'm always interested in what you have to say, in particular negative opinions so feel free to post an insult or two here. Emerging Investor